Dancing with my father - Luther Van Dross

This songs has so much meaning in my life. Kalau I dengar lagu ni, memang berjurai-jurai air mata yang akan keluar. At times when I missed my father this is the song I listen. I was very closed to my dad and he meant the world to me. He was my rock and no words can describe how much I missed him until I heard this song.

(credit to You Tube)

If I could get another chance
Another walk
Another dance with him
I'd play a song that would never ever end
How I'd love love love
To dance with my father again

There can be a different interpretation depending of how you look at the song. As for me, I failed to spend most of my time when my dad was terminally ill. I keep finding excuses that I had family to care for and a job to go to. I tried as much as possible to care for him during those trying times but I know it wasn't enough.  I cannot forgive myself in that sense. Even to his last days, I find myself asking my sister when she called, " What should I do? Should I leave work now?"   My sister left her job to care for Abah.....does that make me a bad daughter?

Abah and me - Cameron Highlands 1984

It is never to late to rebuild special ties with your dad because when he is gone, no tears can bring him back. Regrets can last a life time. I have to deal with it and I haven't find the closure I needed. Every night before I go to sleep, you are in my prayers......

Abah, I love you forever!